A list of redneck computer terms

Backup - Whatcha do when ya sees a skunk in thuh woods.  Or, whatcha do to get warm at thuh heatin' stove.

Bar code - Dem's thuh fight'n rules down at thuh tavern.

Bug - Tha reason ya give when callin' in sick.

Byte - Whatch'er pit bull dun to tha Sheriff.

Cache - Stuff ya need tah git groceries-n-gas.

Chip - Yer cousin's uncle's mother's boyfriend.

Terminal - Pretty darn sick, time to call thuh undertaker.

Crash - When you goes to Rufus' party... uninvited.

CD - What grandpa leftcha in his will.

Digital - Tha art of countin' on your fingers.

Diskette - A female Disco dancer.

Duplex - Where yor sister and city-slicker boyfriend live.

Floppy - Whats thuh big fish did before he got away.

Hacker - Uncle Leroy, after thirty years a-smoking.

Hardcopy - Picture lookt at when selectin' tattoos.

Internet - Cafe workers put their hair in this.... s'postuh anyway.

Keyboard - Where you hang thuh pickup keys.  (Somebody said John Deer keys - but we don't hang 'em up - they's just stays in the trackter or we hang em' in the barn on a nail - heck, sometimes we use the nail to starts the trackter.)

Mac - Bob's favorite eatin'-out food.

Megahertz - How your head feels after seventeen beers an two fights.

Modem - Whatcha say when askin' for another helpin' of mashed taters.

Monitor - What our city cousin Jake had to wear on his leg fer 2 years.

Mouse pad - Dem sticky thingies we put down on thuh floor for thuh varmints.

Network - Whatchor fishin' buddy's gotta do to help catch the "big one" before dey breaks da line.

Online - Where to hang da wet clothes.

Screen - Helps keep da skeeters off da porch.

Serial port - A breakfast nook thingy.

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee-of-da-year.

SCSI (pronounced scuzzy) - Whatcha call your week-old underwear.